Saturday, 8 June 2013

All for nothing? All for Everything? Sometimes I know the answer, but right now it’s a mystery…

All for nothing? All for Everything? Sometimes I know the answer, but right now it’s a mystery…

The softness of the day seeps into my soul and a great welling of compassion and love for all my fellow humans passes through me. I was driving to the Library, to obtain my stock of free food. I watched the people thronging, it’s a Saturday, the only time so many get to do the edges and necessities of life. I saw an awkward teen boy with a wild winter hat, all arms and legs, an old woman swiftly shuffling, a woman with a young child being dragged, her pigtails defiantly at right angles.

I thought of the workers, cleaners, packers, vendors, CEO, stockbrokers, mothers… how they work. To feed clothe and keep this spark called Life moving. A tear coursed down my cheek out of compassion, deep love simply because it is this way. And the enlightened ones that mark the homeless ones, how each of us has returned to be something that is essential to this planet. No one person here by accident. The people in the car next to me all with some purpose for their day.

By the time I got to the library I had mascara tracks on my cheeks, and had to find a tissue (used in my handbag) to wipe away my humanity. I entered the soft smell, books decaying as we do. Walked amongst the shelves, needing to gain focus to look for sustenance I did not know that I would be taking home. As always the title sprung out and formed verses of poems, phrases all to be forgotten by the time I got home. (I think a notebook with next time might be a good idea) Wondering all the time if there was anyone else in this room of books that saw what I saw. And if they saw a grey haired one with her bold scarf wistfully going about her seeking, or if I was invisible.


And now my lunch eaten (Smash, too lazy to make something) rain leaving gems. Agnes Obel in my ears, I simply sit, recall my morning and wonder… All for nothing? All for Everything? Sometimes I know the answer, but right now it’s a mystery…

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