Breath Manifest

I stood still,

Breath smoking out of me,

Like my Ancestor’s words,

That were breathed and never heard

In this ordinary reality

But they speak to me.

In my non ordinary reality.

Grandmother Gregg,

Stern, flaming red hair, Welsh words streaming

As I light candles and do ceremony.

I have never spoken Welsh

But I hear what she says.

Beat my drum and understand that

She did this too.

St Bridgid, the other, older version

Is suddenly flaming inside me

Oma Aumuller, comes to me in my dreams.

She tells me to walk the beach

To find seaweed to eat.

To follow the shells,

I do and a few days later get told

I need more iodine in my body

And here I stand, cold winters air

My breath manifest,

In mist from my mouth and wonder

What I will say to my children and Grandchildren?

When this breath is no longer manifest.

All emotions serve me

Language is such an inadequate expression of what really goes on inside me. I often wonder how I would feel into my world if I did not have words with connotations when “things” move. Whilst walking my dogs this morning, my time for prayer and reflection into my day, I found myself speaking to myself. I labelled what was moving through me as “melancholic” and went on to reflect that this state of being is natural to me. But the word melancholic has associations such as depressed, sad (add your own words here…) I stopped in my tracks and thought, wait, this state I call melancholy is such a fruitful state for me! Its when I see things more clearly, its when I feel things more keenly, my senses far wider than usual.

This has once again made me reflect on the effectiveness of words really naming states we are in. I wish we had a world where these keen states of Being did not have associations and labels. I silently stood with the wind whipping around me, wide Mother beneath and around me, and really took this in. In this realisation a huge download of AHA occurred. ALL emotions serve me, everything that moves, shakes, me, serves me.

 I will challenge myself when I label an emotion as “this” or “that” from this moment forth. How about we all do this? How about you stepping into your day knowing deeply that you are made to feel, and that every state of being needs to be re looked at, for its true core and how it adds value to your life.