Friday 17 May 2013

That I would rise and leave this house one day, I wonder if I will thank it as much as I feel right now…



Soft form of mine, housing something so much bigger…

I thought of the enormity of the choice that I made. To return to this soft form, this house. To return to the ravaging emotions, the pain, joy, love and before I could remember that I have come to do something, my form has changed… child hood seems such blur and an unawareness of body. And my adult hood… somewhere I lost track of an awareness, and came too in my early 30’s. I have a body, a shape, a temple to love and cherish. And so I began loving myself.

Consciously, I have done this. I say it unashamedly, I love this shape. And now as the years start creeping onto my face… I look at my naked form in the mirror, hollows beneath my ribs, still will always have a soft mound of a belly. Stretch marks faint from the children I bore. Breasts heavy, belly button deep. I stretch, flex my arms, biceps strong, still there. My favourite part of myself is the way my breasts curve into my arm and the muscle elegantly joining my arm, and I look at the aging face staring back at me. Somehow the rest of me seems to have failed to catch up, no lines – only a little softer, a little blurred. My hip bones not so prominent, just there for me to know.

Oh shape of mine, thank you… I pay benediction to myself often. I bless my feet that have carried me strongly, my legs fine pillars moving in my life’s rhythms. Every inch of me is thanked for its function, creamed, oiled and blessed. I am grateful. Thank you dear soft form of mine for housing something that is so much bigger than what I see and feel. The enormity and humbleness I feel for this, makes me weep…

That I would rise and leave this house one day, I wonder if I will thank it as much as I feel right now…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

I could see the prayers streaming from me, waves of words like a halo..


I could see the prayers streaming from me, waves of words like a halo..

More and more, do I follow the compulsion to simply listen to the voice that says – “Go, go walk the beach” or “Go to that place in the fynbos and sit”. Messages that arise, I check first in my body if this feels accurate… I am sensitive. Then I go and Oh my Goddess, I could simply rise like a cloud…

I listened to this yesterday, in the midst of working rather fiercely I have a dead line for. I stopped mid stroke… looked out, left the keyboard, locked the doors and walked towards the ocean, in a kind of a trance. I felt myself fully engaged with All. 

And in minds eye I saw – I Am a Prayer, In my Joy and Despair. I am a Prayer. Each thing I do is perfectly orchestrated, everything I Am, is whole- ly. I Am perfect. I am performing a Divine function being particular me… and saw this in a lovely picture of a lone woman on a tar road heading to the beach, with streams of wordprayers around her like a halo… doing something significant on a Cosmic scale just because She Is.

Friday 10 May 2013

Find Something to Love so deeply, that you feel the Divine Love in All


Find Something to Love so deeply,  that you feel the Divine Love in All

Softly treading the morning, Winters low sun obscuring my seeing again. Oh well, not a bad thing to rely on one sense alone. I have a scarf wrapped round my head to keep my ears warm. Short hair does expose one…morning walks are my favourite. I feel like the first one to see what I do, to feel what I do. To gently enter my day in the beauty that surrounds me.

Dropping into meditation, I said my “I Am” decrees, told myself my "Living my life of dreams " story that’s not a story but real to me. I felt myself expanding as I do, when I am in the arms of the Mother. I pondered on the lesson from the Mantra’s that I have been doing with Deva and Miten. Yesterdays was “Om Parama Prema Rupaya Namaha", Salutations to Divine Love in a form that I can recognize...

I could only drop into Divine Love knowing what love of Something or Another feels like. Seems simple but only really hit home this morning. If I did not love this world this Big or Beloved this Big, I would not know where to begin.

Find something or someone to Love big enough to be able to find Divine Love. It’s a lovely trick we have been handed in this time here…

I bow to the divine love made manifest in all sentient beings: a lover, a friend, a child, a pet, a special tree in the forest…

I Love you All so much, I do...

Monday 6 May 2013

Still, heart still, I heard the stereo of the ocean…Velvet sea weed, taught skin, firm flesh, like a lover


Still, heart still, I heard the stereo of the ocean…Velvet sea weed, taught skin, firm flesh, like a lover

Muscles crunch in a tinkle music beneath my feet. Paused to catch the footfall of self. Squinted into the distance, lowering sun obscuring sight, only leaving my hearing to catch where I walked. I closed my eyes, and feelingly moved forward, aware to the right of me ocean, the left, the softness of bird calls, beneath me my own tentative footfalls. Afraid to move further, but still wanting to keep these other senses evoked, I sank to the sand. Feeling my way for a soft place, brushing sharp muscles away…

The smell of the ocean, the oceans debris washed up on this real beach, seaweed with a slight breath of sulphur. All slowly decaying as I will one day. Gulls, overhead, and a flock of somethings, soft Manywings over head. I could almost feel the breeze they create as they beat soft though a dimension I cannot move in.

My hands moving through the texture of the dry beach to wetness just beneath the surface. The texture different, from soft falls to compacted. The stuff that the beachplant beings drink. Velvet sea weed, taught skin, firm flesh, like a lover. I lay back unheeded, not caring if I was in a pathway or not, and heard the stereo ocean of one shore crashing and another follow. On a perfect bend to disappear into the rhythm. I could feel my body wanting to move as a sea plant and float gently… into another state of being. 

All the world a web, expanding moving softly…


All the world a web, expanding moving softly…

I gasped in wonder this morning at the evidence of sister spiders everywhere! There was no bush or grassy place that did not hold a jewelled creation. So well spun, so crafted. Tiny tunnels made on the webs that were on the ground between the grasses. Finely spun dresses on the bushes. And they gently expanded and moved with the breeze, not breaking but stretching…

Oh yes, this is what we do is it not? We are part of that great web of expansion when we tap into Love that is present all around us. The matrix of life is really that. A soft web unnoticed until we have those eyes to see. And when you see that you are this Love, this wonder, then all the Love that you have for anything may expand, become a more rarefied thing, purer and also just LETTING the Love of others be just that.

A Wise One put it well in these two quotes that I will leave you with.

"The most important aspect of love is not in giving or the receiving: it's in the being. When I need love from others, or need to give love to others, I'm caught in an unstable situation. Being in love, rather than giving or taking love, is the only thing that provides stability. Being in love means seeing the Beloved all around me." — Ram Dass Ram Dass and "We're here to awaken from the illusion of separateness"
 

Expand, tap into the Matrix of Love Dear Ones… You Are Love.