Friday 25 April 2014

The Sugarbrid drank deep from its simple surroundings



Vexing times it seems all due to this Grand Cardinal cross that is meandering over us.

I have been tossed by tides of emotions veering from anger to deep, deep sadness. I have not been paying heed to my need to walk, so I took to the beach just before sunset this eve. I felt I needed to move briskly, this I did, and I had worked up a sheen on my face as I reached the beach. I did not stop my particular movement, untill I reached the rocks on the other side, where I fiddled and fussed where I would plant myself.


As I settled down against a rock, a beautiful large ridge back dog came to rest his face on me, a blessing. And I squinted against the sun, and laughed. The gnats and beach insects were busy as my mind but small. I sat in thought, and saw the two images of the beaches that I have lived in close proximity to, had such clear metaphors. My Gordons bay home was expansive, and yet I rattled in it not having enough to fill it. The beloved beach that I built a labyrinth on was a short walk away, and I used to take to it every morning before I began my day. It was an unusual time… I was alone in my home for the first time ever in my life, daughters both in their own spaces. 

It was a beautiful time of re discovering self. The beach was a busy space, wonderful for the time. Yet there were some things about it that really did not sit right with me. Dog owners were persecuted by the Police (me too) saying they were not allowed there… and busloads of raucous people arrived over weekends and left the beaches in a sad state. It used to anger and hurt me to see this. What I clearly saw today was the beach and its untidiness, and  busyness actually was indicative of the rampant state my mind was in, life was in. The house was a mask of what I did not possess materially either. The short walk to the beach also a metaphor for me wanting quick fixes, action, movement which do not really yield long lasting results.  By building a labyrinth, I had made a statement about where I wished to be within. I was moving towards stillness.

My beach now, takes some movement to get to, its a steep walk down the mountain, no quick fix… it is also quiet, no bus loads of people, clean, with dogs welcome. My home is much smaller, and I do not rattle, my few possessions fitting perfectly. The view, my dears the view is unsurpassed. I can see far and wide from my wooden perch. My inner state is clearer, my material world richer and I too am still within (most of the time). 

I sat until the sun dipped beneath the metallic blue sea. I meandered home slowly and as I reached my home, I saw the Sugarbird that is gracing the large Protea bush just outside my gate. It was dipping its beak deep into the Protea, taking sweet nourishment from its simple surroundings, and how splendid is that? Thank you Sugarbird, this is what I will do. I might still have grumpys and sads, but I shall drink deep from my surroundings, and just allow the winds within to move over me as they will pass, and bring anew. 

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