Silence fuller than a spoken word

My steps falling in gratitude as I re walked the short Medicine Route that was walked with my Sisters In Circle. I was aware the route that I was taking was forever altered by the footsteps of Light that walked with me in the same space and thoughtfulness. A pathway of breath, feelings, minds that each in their own way silently wove a new tapestry into my soul.

I largely live a silent life, where spoken words are rare. And my life is pretty much walks, writing and of course teaching when I need to in between. The shared silence we had however was so FULL. Silence fuller than a spoken word. It was such an intimate space to be in, so sacred. It was difficult to speak when we returned, as if we were carrying something really profound.

Milkwoods bent their slow movement as I bowed to them, thanking them for their unique space that they hold. Waters edge, crashing waves, warm rocks… I sat with tears in gratitude for the Wisdom of the Land. I was aware of the web of each echo system upholding the other just as we should…

Each dear Sister carried their blessings into spoken words, releasing them as birds into the air. Feathered light things that were bright with the light as they poured forth in the truth felt. I could see the WORD’s silently leaving on these wings off the balcony and landing softly on the land, high into the sky and settling in the leaves.

When truth is seen, felt and spoken – it alters the fabric of the moment… thank you to the Light Beings that shared my space – thanks dear ones, deep gratitude.

Post Note:

How appropriate that Oriah Mountain Dreamers post today was this –

"I ache for shared silence, not the awkward lulls in conversation where we reach for something- anything- to cover the tension of trying to be with too much of the other and too little of ourselves, but the moments of fullness that let each of us unfold and know who we really are. I long for silences with another where there is nothing to forgive or explain or justify, where we agree to abandon quickly spoken words for a time so we do not abandon ourselves or each other, the silences where no one asks me to choose between belonging to myself and being with the world. And when these silences come, I feel how I am working my way home through whatever they hold- terror or tenderness, grief or celebration- spiralling ever-closer to a sweetness I have ached for all my life." ~Oriah Mountain Dreamer from THE DANCE

May we find some shared silence today- where we are present with each other and whatever the silence holds. How sweet and intimate it is to be able to truly be together with or without words.”

We need not ache anymore do we dear ones?  – come walk again… 

This post is dedicated to Ainsley who is my support in all that I walk in... thank you Beloved One.

Autumn’s hands are caressing the oaks

Cooler mornings as Summer dips into her depth. My hands top the tips of the soft plants that line the steep mountain pathway. I breath in the cooler air deeply, some plants are transitioning into a slumber state.

I have had a week of  deep thinking as I have mentally prepared to take my Sisters in Circle for a short Medicine walk. Walking the land is an answer to everything that I feel moving in me. I go to The Wilds when an answer needs to be found. And been deeply aware of my soul friends in the plants, rocks, creatures as I have prepared.

I was so aware of Autumn’s hands caressing the oaks while driving yesterday. My eyes caught the tops of many other trees having had the same touch… then my eyes alighted upon the Evergreens. I became aware of an otherness that I had not been aware of about their energy. I felt the pace of their life being something slower than the trees that awaken and slumber in their own cycles. That their greenness carried a deep slow ray of Hope. That their colour that remains the same most of the year was a promise that spoke loudly in colder parts of out planet where snow blankets and greyness is part of winters sights.

I am deeply moved by this. The wisdom of the Land, the deep wisdom of this planet that so supports our very existence in everything that is to be seen. As I walked this morning a Sentiency surrounded me unlike before. A year ago I declared to All looking over the ocean and a river that I wished to walk the Wilds with people, and this is unfolding in its slow wisdom the way the seasons turn.

I do not have words for my gratitude that ALL supports this journey of mine… thank you, thank you Me, thank YOU… thanks be unto the Earth…

My world is slowly changing the coverings and masks are receding

I walked past the gnarled rock, its eddies and dips telling of a time long ago when it lived beneath the sea. It surely had fish swimming in and out of the little caves.

Then the world slowly changed and the ocean receded and this beautiful rock stands proud, a home to new creatures. It is bare, not pretty in the usual sense, it just is and is magnificent.

I felt the same as I looked in the mirror this morning and decided to keep my face the way it is, because I feel beautiful today… no make up, I am as you all know grey haired, but the naked face gives another insight… I put make up on because culturally this is somehow ingrained in me. But more often than not I find myself not doing this. I wear my home clothes, oldest jeans (hand me downs from Farrah actually!) frayed and sitting right on the hips. Old tie dye T-shirt and “plakkies” on my feet. Perhaps living in the wilds has me caring less about what the world sees, because the world really does not see. They do not see when I have make up on or not, or if I have my old jeans on…

Yes no one looks. But they do feel… we are far more wired to feeling what a person exudes than what we think. Wired for truth too, we know when things are amiss, we feel the anger in a persons hurried walk.

Today I am more concerned about what I am projecting. Is the Beauty that I feel from within a shining light? I would rather be seen for this…

My world is slowly changing the coverings and masks are receding and this beautiful Me, stands proud, a home to a sense of self. I am bare, not pretty in the usual sense, I AM magnificent.

And now I will pop down to the shops close by in my bakkie that needs washing, my old clothes and bare face... and simply be me. 

The only perfection to be found is the place of stillness in me that I cultivate like a flame.

My eyes flicker open, first awareness is that I am blessed to awaken when my body wants to. Stretching, my breath deep – another day to walk in a soft way. My happy dogs delight in the mornings promise, stumbling over my shoes wagging themselves into a state. The wide world sings to me as I look across the view that is presented on my morning walk with my dogs. This is sacred time – I say my I Am prayers as I turn 360 degrees declaring my life…

The world is my Temple. Sacred time, and I mean it in the context of preparing for my day because my entire day is an opportunity to stay in Divine space and make a difference to myself and others…

But I am also pleased to go home to my sacred prayer space in my home. It holds my altar, with objects of spiritual significance to me. I love it… it has changed over the years. Some things have been added and taken away, evolving as I have. This is where I truly drop into an altered state, breathing deeply, this is where I still myself for the day… by the time that half hour is done, I am relaxed and prepared for whatever may come my way. I truly treasure this space, this is my church, this is where prayers, manifestations, declarations take place. The walls are shining with wonder… you will feel this when you come into this room…

Mindfully present of self and my Divinity I do my utmost to take this into all of my emails, communications and when I teach I do this too. 

And no, I don’t always stay in that space… watch me grumble at cyclists abreast of one another on the winding road from Scarborough to town… see me catch a memory of my loved Salem who left my side in December, and tears will simply flow. I carry the full emotions of being grumpy, sad and fearful just as much as the next person. But the thing is… I love my human self. I am the full range of me, created in this form. I will not ignore all the things that arise within. I most often sit with them, allowing them to present, but try my utmost not to be reactive. 

Seeking enlightenment is not an easy way out to Nirvana. The only perfection to be found is the place of stillness in me that I cultivate like a flame. 

Make space for the full range of you. Don’t run away from your emotions – just be with it… but if there is any advice I can give – make space in the beginning of your day to be still and try and carry this flame around, observe what winds make it want to flicker out, or what makes it grow and expand…you ARE Love…

A Medicine dream

 A restless night with dreams of Porcupine quills and bright feathers in my hair had me waking an October morning – to a compulsion. To walk, what is new you might ask? Well this was a different feeling, not just a walk but a need to walk further and leave the dogs behind. After a hearty breakfast, I packed my little bag with water and wine gums and set off. At first I thought that I would walk to Misty cliffs, but as I got there, it came to me to walk to Kommetjie, a 9km walk one direction. I wondered I was prepared enough, but I went on anyway.

As I walked, I decided to retell my life story as from this point forward. I imagined Grandchildren sitting in front of me, my daughters and my Beloved beside me. I told of this walk that I was doing and all the richness and wonder that followed. A fine tale was weaved. My shoes I realised in between all this weaving were not exactly fit for use anymore, but I walked on. Now the scenery between Scarborough and Kommetjie sea route is one of the most astoundingly beautiful in the world. Still relatively wild, the ocean below crashing and moving as I walked and talked. Ravens flew up high cawing, encouraging me I hoped and by the time I got to Kommetjie I was rather foot sore. I popped into a local  pub and had an ice cold beer and headed back home.

As I trudged up the first portion of steep hill out of Kommetjie, I saw something that stopped me in my tracks. Heart beat in throat, I bent down to pick dozens of Porcupine Quills I gathered them up, and as I did so I fell into a vision of me having a Nguni cow hide being placed on my shoulders and the porcupine quills in a white headband… a few months later a random incident (not so random though) had someone out of the blue gifting me with a Nguni skin covered notebook with a  Porcupine Quill as the place holder holding it closed…

I understand that I need to know the plant medicines of Africa – this is my path with Africa and the Porcupine being my Power Animal here…

Last week while walking, and while pondering over the fact that there is NOTHING that wants me to be a Sangoma in the African tradition, a quiet voice came to me as I spoke to the plants and thanked them for their beauty. 

Tass – stop your struggle. You are a Medicine Woman…

I felt lame as I saw the Feathers from my dream making sense (I keep getting gifted with feathers in my path, Raven, Robin  never mind the random porcupine quills I even find in the streets)

A medicine journey this last weekend had me journeying to meet my inner Serpent… I jumped through an Apple tree into the underworld… and met my Serpent in a cave of brilliant white crystals. The Serpent had two heads – the one I fed a Large Red apple (and the other head I fed Spirits (not sure if it was wine?) Well I puzzled over this but knew if I let it alone the meaning would become evident.

On the same day I spoke to a dear friend Gerri and asked her who she knew that could assist in formalising my Shamanic studies… and Robin Youngbloods name came up again…

Well the puzzle fell into place while making my bed on Sunday night (no surprises there it’s a no mind state event!) I am to follow the two paths. One African Medicinal Plants and the Red Path. I looked at Robin Youngblood’s book too, read the opening chapters and knew that it is her that I needed to speak to… How doors fly open when the time is right. I have met an amazing teacher, whose teachings sing in my blood!

How wonderful that I now know where to go… this is my path, this is the consolidation that I seek – and I invite all who wish to answer their call to being Shamans and formalising their teachings to sign up now…

Ministerial Training: Preparation for Ordination as a Shamanic Minister of Church of the Earth

Robins plea and wisdom - 

"Upon graduation, you will become an ordained minister of Church of the Earth, which is a certification you can register with your government in order to perform weddings, etc. legally. As well, this training is a way to unify many different healing modalities rooted in Shamanic History, through one lineage, in order to provide one with authority and authenticity. As we all know, there are far too many people offering ceremonies who have not received the Initiations and Rites to do so. This is actually dangerous to participants, and, from watching this, I've decided to take responsibility for passing on what I've learned from the Elders, in order to ensure that the body of students who work with me are providing safe, secure, sacred space for whatever they do, in service to the greater good."

This course is  Two years, on skype and email, including two five-day sessions at NuWotiWalela or in one of Church of the Earth’s International Centers, $4,900

Subjects Covered:

Philosophy: Tenets; Beliefs & Practices; Shamanic History and Perspectives; Understanding the Shamanic Path; Using the Medicine Wheel

Personal Preparation: Clearing Obstacles; Connecting to All Our Relations; Identifying Masks & Mirrors; Aligning with Father Sky & Mother Earth; Setting Intention; Identifying & Activating Your Gifts; Awakening Passionate Purpose; Living in Authenticity & Balance

Spiritual Counseling: Clearing; Becoming a Hollow Bone; Checks & Balances; Aura Cleansing; Chakra Balancing; Spiritual Touch; DNA Activation; Understanding the Medicine Wheel: A Compass for Life; MW Constellation for Individuals and Groups; Shamanic Journeying; Extraction & Depossession; Soul Retrieval

Ceremonial Training: Clearing Space; Creating Sacred Space; Providing Protection; Preparation & Facilitation; Designing Individual & Group Ceremonies and Rituals; Holding Intention; Manifestation; Following the Ceremonial Calendar

Teaching: Designing Workshops; Preparation; Organization & Facilitation; Transformational Processes; On-Going Support

Community: Creating & Maintaining Community; MW Relationship Training; Community Outreach; Community Visioning; Community Projects: Design, Preparation, Co-Creation & Process

Missions: WorldWeavers Outreach Projects; Creating Sustainable Venues and Facilities ~ Viral and Land-Based Villages; Fundraising; Social Networking; International Communications; Global Co-Creation

This is a two year course, via bi-weekly skype sessions and email, and including two five-day retreats at the beautiful NuWotiWalela Sanctuary on Church of the Earth’s land in Washington state. Students will work in groups of four-seven individuals, with assignments from Reverend Youngblood, reports and sharing in each skype session, with individual email sessions between. Retreats will give on-hands experiential training between students, as well as offering group sessions on building a ministry and community. This course is a contractual COMMITMENT: once accepted, students are expected to continue through graduation and ordination.

Website: Church of the Earth*

Like us on Facebook: Church of the Earth, Indigenous Institute of Holistic HealthQuestions, Schedule, Comments & Registration: Rev. Robin Youngblood

*Many of our websites and pages are being updated. Please check back often for the latest news!

I Am but a breath, a glimpse of life and death in an instant, I am only watching a replay of what has already been. I Am the Constant…

The year was in and out just as the tide comes and goes. A breath on the wind of the dunes that I see build grow, blow. What lessons did I glean in the transition from one life into another?

That the void is one of the most fruitful places you can be in, and that the end of something can be the beginning of the same thing but with more depth you ever thought before. I reincarnated last year. It has become more and more evident as I grow older, that we undergo life reincarnations in this brief time that we perceive this life. If we truly seek what is real, and the basis of All, is really Love, that THIS moves us between lives within One Life...

I look at myself in the mirror, hair growing a bit longer, wild tousled curls… and the extra lines I have on my face. I feel a 100 years older in one year. This is by no means coming from only a place of what would traditionally would be called “bad times”… I turned my head and heart round that concept and turned all that came my way into “I Am All possibilities”. Life is suffering, the road to enlightenment does not have it all roses. This is such a misconception that if any realisation should come you way that it automatically “makes things better”. 

The only thing that gets better is your perception of what comes your way. 

I Am not the THING that glares at me, I am not the fear that lies in my belly. I Am not anything that I see.

I Am but a breath, a glimpse of life and death in an instant, I am only watching a replay of what has already been. I Am the Constant… 

This I my heart It is unlike any other It beats and quivers with Feathers from ravens

I am a blessed being that some know me well enough to hand me shiny things that rainbow in the sun, that witness a ravens feather dropping at my feet and the shiver of delight that I have at this gift. I am blessed that I have been seen wondering at the gold of single strand of grass as the sun catches it. That see my tears at creatures that are hurt, and love in the same heart. That listen to the waves roar and wonder at the crashing in the same manner…

This I my heart

It is unlike any other

It beats and quivers with

Feathers from ravens, owls

It shimmers with fur

From loved creatures

Manes of horses, regal cats,

And leaves shiver around her

As she pumps with oceans thud

Mud and rain fly off her as she

Keeps me moving

And looking closely

You will see a roaring fire deep inside

And the words

I AM THAT

Sounding, sounding each breath I take